The Cullens On MSN
by TheComicalGeniusess
Summary: Joint writing, comedy/parody, title is really explanatory.
1. Chapter 1

The Cullens Discover MSN

Alice: MidgetAndProud

Jasper: Jasper_Says_Relax

Rosalie:Blondie-Babe

Emmett:Vampire-Marshmallows-Rule

Edward: EC4BS

Bella: B4E_AA4

Nessie: GingerGirl

Jacob: Alphadude

------------------------------------------

B4E_AA4: Hey guys

Alphadude: Bella that is the worst msn name I have ever seen. It is pathetic.

B4E_AA4: Shut up. alphadude???

Alphadude: Yes. What EXACTLY is your point?

- MidgetAndProud has joined the chatroom.-

MidgetAndProud: Hey.

Alphadude: OK Bella you're off the hook. This is PRICELESS.

MidgetAndProud: What?

Alphadude: Oh come ON. MIDGETANDPROUD??? Do you not SEE the sheer HILARITY??

MidgetAndProud: No.

- Jasper_Says_Relax has joined the chatroom.-

- GingerGirl has joined the chatroom.-

GingerGirl : Hey guys.

Jasper_Says_Relax: Hi. Oh God, I thought Emmett had agreed not to misbehave during school hours.

B4E_AA4: Oh come on, its Emmett.

Jasper_Says_Relax: True.

MidgetAndProud: OK, so he's got a tank of fish, several bars of chocolate, a syringe and some marshmallows.

GingerGirl: Why the hell are WE getting funny looks?! We aren't his guardians.

-EC4BS has joined the chatroom.-

EC4BS: WAT THE HELL IS EMMETT DOING ON THE ROOF?! With the hospital aquarium...?

Alphadude: Ahhhh, that's where I've seen that before.

B4E_AA4: Oh no. There's a syringe with venom, going into a piranha.

GingerGirl: Hahaha Emmett's soaked!

Jasper_Says_Relax: Holy shit he's just dropped the aquarium from the roof!

MidgetAndProud:....And followed it.

GingerGirl: Bye guys......  
EC4BS: NESSIE GET BACK HERE!

- GingerGirl has left the chatroom.-

EC4BS: Oh, she's grounded.

Alphadude: Awwwww Edward!!!

EC4BS: Oh, I take it back, she has Emmett in a headlock and is dragging him out of school.

Alphadude:Yay!

EC4BS: Shut up.

MidgetAndProud: Yes, home time.

EC4BS: This will continue tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Alice-shop4life

Bella-IDK09

Carlisle-JD&TurkRul3

Edward-VolvoVanquish

Emmett-IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT

Esme-WhatMomSaysGoes

Jasper-EmotionlessHeartThrob

Jacob-GirlsGirlsGirls

Renesmee-DogLovesMe

Rosalie-BlondeBombShell

* * *

_Shop4life has entered the chatroom_

_IDK09 has entered the chatroom_

_EmotionlessHeartThrob has entered the chatroom_

Shop4life-Hey Bella, Jazz Baybehh!

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Hey Al

Shop4life-I'm not a dude Jasper

EmotionlessHeartThrob-And I m not a freakin baby

IDK09-Hey Alice, Jasper, my homies

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Neither am I a Homie

Shop4life-Stop being a square dick head

IDK09-I don t think he can help that my hoe

EmotionlessHeartThrob-YOU RE NOT A GETTO BITCH BELLA, STOP PRETENDING YOU RE BLACK!

IDK09-What ever Jazz, I m the biggest pimp in my crew

EmotionlessHeartThrob-WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

IDK09-Stop being racist Jasper, you big racist!

Shop4life-Strong words Bella.

IDK09-I gotta go peeps, peace out!

_IDK09 has left the chatroom_

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Square dick head?

Shop4life-Yes, that s what I said.

EmotionlessHeartThrob-That hurt here and here (Points to heart and brain)

Shop4life-You don t have either Jazz. See you later, I'm off.

_Shop4life has left the chatroom_

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has entered the chatroom_

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-someone ain't gettin any Alice lovin tonight

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Screw you.

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-ET toy

EmotionlessHeartThrob-its ET toi you fucking moron, and that doesn t make any sense

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Oh, touchy are we?

_BlondeBombShell has entered the chatroom_

BlondeBombshell-Oh, is this another Jazz vs. Emmy Squabble, I ll get Carlisle

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Don t worry, I m getting off, Mr. Mc Fallen is coming.

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-We don t want you here, go away

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Consider it done, salaud

_EmotionlessHeartThrob has left the chatroom_

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-It s salad, stupid Jazz. He thinks he s so clever, he just put salaud! Ahahaha!

BlondeBombShell-That s French for bastard Emmett

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Thank you beautiful wife

BlondeBombShell-Your welcome stupid husband

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-You re not getting laid tonight either!

BlondeBombShell-You've been boring me lately anyway

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has left the chatroom_

_DogLovesMe has entered the chatroom_

BlondeBombShell-Hey sweetie

DogLovesMe-Hey Aunt Rose, where s uncle Jazzy? He said he d give me the answers to my math paper

BlondeBombShell-He s in class

DogLovesMe-Bull shit, no point asking you

BlondeBombShell-Shut it, arse wipe

DogLovesMe-I hate you more than Daddy hates you

BlondeBombShell-Wow that hurt

DogLovesMe-Thanks, pleasure is all yours

_VolvoVanquish has entered the chatroom_

_IDK09 has entered the chatroom_

IDK09-LANGUAGE RENESMEE!

DogLovesMe-Sorry Mommy

VolvoVanquish-Where did you hear that?

DogLovesMe-Uncle Emmy

IDK09-Class, now!

DogLovesMe-Yes Mommy

_DogLovesMe has left the chatroom_

_RandomRainbow has entered the chatroom_

IDK09-Erm, private convo hoe bag!

RandomRainbow-Sorry, I had no Idea that you pricks had your own rights to this chatroom

VolvoVanquish-Well we do, so go bang your teddy bears bitch

RandomRainbow-Go bang your

_VolvoVanquish deleted RandomRainbow from the chatroom_

BlondeBombShell-People can do that?

VolvoVanquish-No, I can do that :)

BlondeBombShell-She was right, you are a prick

_BlondeBombShell has left the chatroom_

IDK09-Hey sexy

VolvoVanquish-Hey love

IDK09-the Janitors closet is empty

VolvoVanquish-You got towels this time?

IDK09-Yup

VolvoVanquish-For once I know what you re thinking, you dirty girl!

IDK09-You okay for excuses?

VolvoVanquish-Nope, got any new ones?

IDK09-Yup, say Sir, I ve cummed myself just thinking of Bella Swan and I need to go sort myself out, may I be excused?

VolvoVanquish-Anything for you

IDK09-Yeah, we know, now get cummin!

VolvoVanquish-I love you

IDK09-Yeah, the feelings mutual

_VolvoVanquish has left the chatroom_

_DogLovesMe has entered the chatroom_

DogLovesMe-Mom, what are you gunna do with Dad?

_IDK09 has left the chatroom_

BlondeBombShell-has entered the chatroom

DogLovesMe-EWW!!!! THAT S GROSS!

BlondeBombShell-Wanna rat them out to the principal?

DogLovesMe-Yay! I love you Aunt Rose, you re the best!

BlondeBombShell-I know, I know

_DogLovesMe has left the chatroom_

_BlondeBombShell has left the chatroom_

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has entered the chatroom_

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Hey where d everyone go?

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-OH RIGHT, EWWW!!! I m joining you!

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has left the chatroom_


	3. Chapter 3

Alice-shop4life

Bella-IDK09

Carlisle-JD&TurkRul3

Edward-VolvoVanquish

Emmett-IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT

Esme-WhatMomSaysGoes

Jasper-EmotionlessHeartThrob

Jacob-GirlsGirlsGirls

Renesmee-DogLovesMe

Rosalie-BlondeBombShell

* * *

_I__GOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has entered the chatroom_

_VolvoVanquish has entered the chatroom_

_GirlsGirlsGirls has entered the chatroom_

_BlondeBombShell has entered the chatroom_

_BlondeBombShell has left the chatroom_

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Hey guys, Rose

VolvoVanquish-She just left Emmett

GirlsGirlsGirls-Thank god, stupid blonde

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Hey that s my wife you re talking about!

GirlsGirlsGirls-I know

VolvoVanquish-I hope your being faithful, Dog

GirlsGirlsGirls-What do you mean, Vampy?

VolvoVanquish-Well your name suggests something else to me

GirlsGirlsGirls-So does yours, are you making up for something size wise?

VolvoVanquish-I bet mine is bigger than yours, Dog. Go hump a tree

GirlsGirlsGirls-No I ll go hump your daughter

_GirlsGirlsGirls has left the chatroom_

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Oh, he went there!

VolvoVanquish-If he lays one hand on my daughter I swear I ll bite him!

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-EW, Edward, I think Bella deserves to know

VolvoVanquish-Know what?

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-That you enjoy biting men

VolvoVanquish-What the fuck Emmett, I m not gay!

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Well as Jacob said, your name does suggest your making up for something size wise, and you said you d bite him, that s what you do in sex, bite each other

VolvoVanquish-Erm, Emmett, not everyone s sex is as corrupt as yours and Rose s is. Normal people don t bite each other

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Yeah they do, Eddie, it makes things more exciting. Hotter.

VolvoVanquish-Erm, Emmett, Mr. Caviner Is reading this conversation off his computer you know. And, it only makes things hotter if you can feel it, we can t dumb ass

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-No he s not, and I can, Rose said she can.

VolvoVanquish-Yeah, about that, you know how I can read people s minds? Well yeah, she finds your sex dull and lacking, she very nearly went for Aro at one time. She fakes it.

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-What ever, loser, just because Bella and you

VolvoVanquish-WHAT EMMETT? WHAT DO WE DO? Hmm!

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Enjoy sex :(

VolvoVanquish-I suggest you go, Mr. Caviner is coming over, see you bro

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Yeah, see you

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHThas left the chatroom_

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has entered the chatroom_

IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT-Edward Cullen go to the principal s office immediately, pick up your brother on the way there, we cannot trust him on his own.

VolvoVanquish-Make me, douche bag

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT has changed his name to IMREALYMRCAVINER_

IMREALYMRCAVINER-I will not tolerate that kind of language to be used on and in school premises.

VolvoVanquish-Shut it douche bag

IMREALYMRCAVINER-EDWARD CULLEN GO TO THE PRINICPALS OFFICE NOW!!!

VolvoVanquish-Jeez, okay, no need to shout, douche bag

IMREALYMRCAVINER-NOW MR. CULLEN!

VolvoVanquish-SIR Cullen to you! And you spelt really wrong, you spazz.

IMREALYMRCAVINER-NOW MR CULLEN!

VolvoVanquish-Emmett, quick, dazzle him!

IMREALYMRCAVINER-All done, he s flat out, he fainted at my immense beauty! Works like a charm, the all mighty Emmett Cullen, dazzling extraordinaire! My fans.

IMREALYMRCAVINER-I ll go lock him up in the janitor s closet, be back in a min bro!

_IMREALYMRCAVINER is on be right back_

_IDK09 has entered the chatroom_

VolvoVanquish-Bella, are you in 3rd floor math?

IDK09-Yeah, why?

VolvoVanquish-Take our entire stash of equipment out of the janitor s closet! Pronto!

IDK09-Why?

VolvoVanquish-EMMETT!

IDK09-SHIT, I'M ON IT HOMIE!

VolvoVanquish-Homie?

IDK09-Erm, yeah, you're my homie!

VolvoVanquish-As in Simpson s Marge and Homer homie?

IDK09-NO, AS IN STREET BROVVA HOMIE!

VolvoVanquish-You are immensely confusing

IDK09-And your dead posh!

VolvoVanquish-The stuff?

IDK09-Oh yeah, I'm on it!

_IDK09 is on be right back_

_GirlsGirlsGirls has entered the chatroom_

GirlsGirlsGirls-I just banged your daughter

VolvoVanquish-I'm gunna kill you, dog!

IMREALYMRCAVINER-AHH MY BEAUTIFUL EYES, MY MARVELOUS DAZZLING EYES, RUINED!!

IMREALYMRCAVINER-AHH, HIM!! JACOB BLACK!! MY POOR, BEAUTIFUL, DAZZLING EYES, YOU HAVE CURSED THEM WITH YOUR UGLY SCENE!

VolvoVanquish-What Emmett?

GirlsGirlsGirls-He caught me and Nessie in the janitor s closet.

VolvoVanquish-Hey that s mine and Bella's spot, stay outta there

VolvoVanquish-SHIT, Bella, Gotta go, in a bit Emm, and dog

_VolvoVanquish has left the chatroom_

_DogLovesMe has entered the chatroom_

DogLovesMe-Hey Jake ;D

GirlsGirlsGirls-Hey Nessie ;D

IMREALYMRCAVINER-AHH MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!

DogLovesMe-Is that really Mr. Caviner?

GirlsGirlsGirls-No, it s Emmett.

DogLovesMe-Are you sure? ^o)

GirlsGirlsGirls-Yep, pretty sure, scroll up

DogLovesMe-Aw, Poor Uncle Emm!

DogLovesMe-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WTF?!! DAD AND EMMETT TALKING ABOUT IT!!! AHHH!! KILL ME NOW, JACOB, KILL ME NOW!!

IMREALYMRCAVINER-MUHAHAHA, MY REVENGE FOR THAT EVIL DEED YOU AND WOLF BOY WERE PREFORMING!! MUHAHAHA I CRY, MUAHAHAHA!

GirlsGirlsGirls-Emmett, change your name back, your getting annoying.

DogLovesMe-Yeah Emm, your pissing me off, off my love high :D (L)

IMREALYMRCAVINER-AHH STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP THE PAIN AND TORMENT! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!! MY INNOCENT MIND! RUINED BY A DOG AND A HALF BREED, YES A HALF BREED!!

DogLovesMe-Hmm, thanks Emmett.

IMREALYMRCAVINER-No problem Ness

_VolvoVanquish has entered the chatroom_

_IDK09 has entered the chatroom_

_GirlsGirlsGirls has changed his name to IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER_

IDK09-Shit, is that really Caviner?

IMREALYMRCAVINER-WHAT DOES THE NAME SAY STUPID?

IDK09-Are you sure? Coz the last time I saw Caviner was when he was banging Rosalie

IMREALYMRCAVINER-Oh, my beautiful wife! I must rescue the fair princess Rosalie from the evil clutches of Lord Caviner! Wish me good luck on this mission! Fairwell, I may or may not see you again!

_IMREALYMRCAVINER has left the chatroom_

IDK09-So it was Emmett, why didn t anyone say anything?

DogLovesMe-Because we wanted you to get him outta here!

VolvoVanquish-Nessie, your grounded

DogLovesMe-Why?

VolvoVanquish-Because

IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER- -- All in the name

IDK09-JACOB BLACK, I WILL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS ALL THE WAY TO THE MOON, I M COMING TO GET YOU, DOG!

IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER- -- Ha, but I

VolvoVanquish-Let's make it a family thing, Bella, I ll help you, I ll bring shovels

DogLovesMe-MOM, DAD YOUR OVER REACTING, HE WAS CRAP ANYWAY! It s not worth it until he actually gets good!

IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER-Hey, I thought you were on my side!

DogLovesMe-I was until you go and rub it in everyone's faces!

IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER-My twinky? You know that was an accident!

VolvoVanquish-Twinky?

DogLovesMe-It s the same size as a twinky

IDK09-AHAHAHA, Tiny dick, tiny dick, now I m happy I chose Edward!

VolvoVanquish-You were unhappy with me?

IDK09-Yeah, but now I m not, you ve got the bigger penis!

VolvoVanquish-What made you unhappy! Urg, if I knew that you d be unhappy, I should have never let Alice take you to the Volturi to save me! I should have just made Jane eat me or something!

IDK09-Don t say that! I was only unhappy with your performances, it was getting boring

VolvoVanquish-I was boring you? Come on, the Tom Cruise thing? That was a legend!

DogLovesMe-Hello? IM STILL HERE!

VolvoVanquish-Now your not!

_VolvoVanquish removed DogLovesMe from the chatroom_

IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER-Well, I better get going

_IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER has left the chatroom_

VolvoVanquish-I've just thought of something, want to try it out?

IDK09-If it involves your huge dick, then I'm in!

VolvoVanquish-The Meadow?

IDK09-Oh yeah!

VolvoVanquish-I'll get you in 15 seconds!

IDK09-Sweet!

_VolvoVanquishhas left the chatroom_

_IDK09 has left the chatroom_

_IMREALYMRCAVINER has entered the chatroom_

IMREALYMRCAVINER-Hey, I was wondering, does anyone have the key to the house?

IMREALYMRCAVINER-EW EW EW, IM SNITCHING ON YOU ALL!!

_IMREALYMRCAVINER has changed his name to IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT_

_IGOTLAIDLASTNIGHT changed his name to SIREMMETTCULLEN_

_SIREMMETTCULLEN has changed his interests on his profile to - My mission, to save Princess Rosalie from the evil grasps of Lord Caviner!_

_SIREMMETTCULLEN has left the chatroom_


	4. Chapter 4

Alice shop4life

Bella IDK09

Carlisle JD&TurkRul3

Edward VolvoVanquish

Emmett SIREMMETTCULLEN

Esme WhatMomSaysGoes

Jasper EmotionlessHeartThrob

Jacob IFUCKEDYOURDAUGHTER

Renesmee DogLovesMe

Rosalie BlondeBombShell

* * *

_VolvoVanquish has entered the chatroom_

_Shop4life has entered the chatroom_

_EmotionlessHeartThrob has entered the chatroom_

VolvoVanquish-Alice, is Bella there with you?

Shop4life-Nope, she claimed she was having her period and stepped out

VolvoVanquish-Shweet! I'll text her then ^^

Shop4life-Ew, Edward, were all happy that you've finally got a girl, but stop talking about Sex.

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Yeah Eddie, shut up about you getting laid. Just cause you were a 107 year old virgin doesn't mean that you can now go and rub it in our faces.

VolvoVanquish-Shadd Uppa Ya Faces

Shop4life-Are you turning into a weird non-black person from the hood person again Edward?

EmotionlessHeartThrob-No, that s clearly Italian impersonation, haven t you heard Aro or Luigi and Mario speak Alice?

VolvoVanquish-Listen up brovvas, I'm gunna get laid.

EmotionlessHeartThrob-NO ONE FUCKING CARES EDWARD!

VolvoVanquish-Bella does.

EmotionlessHeartThrob-SHE SHOULD, SHE S THE ONE THAT YOU ARE LAYING!

VolvoVanquish-Please Homies, stop the dirty talk!

EmotionlessHeartThrob-You fucking started it!

Shop4life-AND I'M FUCKING ENDING IT!!

EmotionlessHeartThrob-And I'm fucking leaving.

_EmotionlessHeartThrob has left the chatroom_

_JD&TurkRul3 has entered the chatroom_

VolvoVanquish-Alice, how do you delete chat?

Shop4life-You click the little x button that appears dumb ass.

VolvoVanquish-The big one in the corner?

Shop4life-No, dumb ass, the one s that appear when you hover over the end of the chat box

VolvoVanquish-I'm not sure, I m going with the big red one.

Shop4life-Your loss.

_VolvoVanquish has left the chatroom_

JD&TurkRul3-Hey Alice, will you please stop Edward from talking like that, it's really annoying.

Shop4life-Sure Daddy

JD&TurkRul3-That's my angel!

Shop4life-Daddy?

JD&TurkRul3-Yes pumpkin?

Shop4life-Can I borrow your credit card? I maxed mine out.

JD&TurkRul3-Why? What do you need to get?

Shop4life-A new bed.

JD&TurkRul3-Hmm who for?

Shop4life-Me and Jasper, I'm redecorating!

JD&TurkRul3-Oh dear lord!

Shop4life-Please Daddy? **Puppy dog eyes**

JD&TurkRul3-Okay, but don't spend it all.

Shop4life-I will

_Shop4life has left the chatroom_

_CarlislesObsessiveStalker has entered the chatroom_

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-Carlisle!!!

JD&TurkRul3-Not you again

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-I LOVE YOU CARLISLE CULLEN!! I HATE YOUR UGLY WIFE; SHE'S LOOKS LIKE SHE'S THIRTY!!

JD&TurkRul3-I'm not Carlisle Cullen, and that's mean!

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-I LOVE YOU MR CARLISLE!! Will you elope with me?

JD&TurkRul3-I'm married.

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-BUT I LOVE YOU!

JD&TurkRul3-Where's Edward when you need him?

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-Edward, is that your other lover then?

JD&TurkRul3-No, it's my son.

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-What ever **Sniffles**, I know you don't love me anymore!! Our relationship is ruined now. But I still love you!!

JD&TurkRul3-Leave me alone!

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-I love you Mr. Carlisle! I LOVEE YOUU!!!!

JD&TurkRul3-Do I have to pay you off, just leave me alone!!

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-I watch you all the time, I watch you when you sleep with your wife, I imagine it s me.

JD&TurkRul3-I'm going to leave now.

CarlislesObsessiveStalker-I LOVE YOU MR CARLISLE, I LOVE YOU!! ONE DAY WE WILL BE TOGETHER!!

_JD&TurkRul3 has left the chatroom_

_CarlislesObsessiveStalker has changed his name to SIREMMETTCULLEN_

_VolvoVanquish has entered the chatroom_

VolvoVanquish-Nice work Emmett

SIREMMETTCULLEN-Not so bad yourself

VolvoVanquish-Just wait until Carlisle finds out it was you; you'll be in so much crap!

SIREMMETTCULLEN-It was you idea!

VolvoVanquish-But it was on your account

SIREMMETTCULLEN-Damn it, Carlisle's gunna ground me for like forever! I'll never be able to socialize with anyone, especially Jessica; she invited me to the beach party, alright, that's like first base!

VolvoVanquish-Your not allowed to go to the beach anyways Emmett, you sparkle, remember?

SIREMMETTCULLEN-Yeah, girls love that about me!

VolvoVanquish-You sparkle crap, everyone knows I sparkle the bestest!

SIREMMETTCULLEN-That's why Carlisle let s you go out in the sun then, isn't it?

VolvoVanquish-Oh yeah!! Cause it looks good on me, you look like a tranny when you sparkle!

SIREMMETTCULLEN-Do you know where Nessie is? Where gunna make mud pies with Jacob and Bella and throw them at the school, they'll think there bombs, stupid humans! I hope Jessica notices me Emmett Cullen bad boy ^^

VolvoVanquish Keep Nessie outta this, one more infraction on her school record and she'll be suspended, plus Rose will have a go at me and so will Carlisle, then I'll be stuck in the cage with you, Bella, Jacob and Nessie and I don't wanna see the outcome of that!

SIREMMETTCULLEN-Join in then Eddie, mud pies all the way!

VolvoVanquish-Uh, but, oh well, not like I drive my Vanquish anyways, it s a dumb car, okay, I'll join in!

VolvoVanquish-Bloomsbury is behind you

SIREMMETTCULLEN-MUD PIES AWAY!

_SIREMMETTCULLEN has left the chatroom_

_JD&TurkRul3 has entered the chatroom_

JD&TurkRul3-Have you seen Emmett?

VolvoVanquish-Nope

JD&TurkRul3-Okay, but if you re lying to me, SMASH goes your Austin Martin and Emmett's Jeep in one collision

VolvoVanquish-Naw, you'd never do that Daddy, especially to your smart-most talented one

JD&TurkRul3-NO MUD PIES!

VolvoVanquish-Aww, you ruin everything Daddy! Stupid Alice

JD&TurkRul3-Do you think Esme is over-thirty looking?

VolvoVanquish-MUD PIES AWAY!

_VolvoVanquish has left the chatroom_

_EmotionlessHeartThrob has entered the chatroom_

JD&TurkRul3-Do you think Esme looks over thirty?

EmotionlessHeartThrob-MUD PIES AWAY!

JD&TurkRul3-Not you too Jasper!

EmotionlessHeartThrob-Mud pies await!

_EmotionlessHeartThrob has left the chatroom_

_BlondeBombShell has entered the chatroom_

JD&TurkRul3-Do you think Esme is over-thirty looking?

BlondeBombShell-Yeah why?

JD&TurkRul3-Rose, you bitch

BlondeBombShell-In my name in my nature

JD&TurkRul3-No it s not

BlondeBombShell-In my nature, should be in my name

JD&TurkRul3-What's with all the mud pies?

BlondeBombShell-MUD PIES AWAY!

JD&TurkRul3-Oh no, not Rose!

BlondeBombShell-PIE TIME!!

JD&TurkRul3-I need a bigger cage. :L**Sighs**

_A new account has been made_

_ALLTHECULLENKIDS-MUDPIESAWAY! Has entered the chatroom_

_WhatMomSaysGoes has entered the chatroom_

WhatMomSaysGoes-What's happened to all my bowls? I was going to make blood sangria!

ALLTHECULLENKIDS-MUDPIESAWAY! MUD PIES!

JD&TurkRul3-Alice? You as well? Damn, may as well get a chicken coop as well :L That s the only way they'll all fit in

_ALLTHECULLENKIDS-MUDPIES! Has left the chatroom_

_ALLTHECULLENKIDS-MUDPIES! Has deleted their account_

WhatMomSaysGoes-I LOOK THIRTY?!!

_JD&TurkRul3 has left the chatroom_

_WhatMomSaysGoes has changed her interests to Killing my daughter ROSE for saying I look thirty when I'm 26!_

_WhatMomSaysGoes has left the chatroom_


	5. Chapter 5

Alice: MidgetAndProud

Jasper: Jasper_Says_Relax

Rosalie:Blondie-Babe

Emmett:Vampire-Marshmallows-Rule

Edward: EC4BS

Bella: B4E_AA4

Nessie: GingerGirl

Jacob: Alphadude

Esme: MomsTheWord

Carlisle:LoveDoctor

-----------------------------------------------

Vampire-Marshmallows-Rule: Aww I can't believe Nessie managed to kidnap me :(

-GingerGirl has joined the chatroom.-

GingerGirl: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE GROUNDED!! GROUNDED I TELL YOU!!!!

-B4E_AA4 has joined the chatroom.-

B4E_AA4: I'm so proud of you Nessie.

Vampire-Marshmallows-Rule: *bursts into tears*

GingerGirl: Oh get over it. You murdered defenceless fish!!

Vampire-Marshmallows-Rule: That piranha was attacking me!

GingerGirl: And?! You were trying to remove it from water and drop it from the top floor of a building! I don't fucking blame it!

-Vampire-Marshmallows-Rule has changed their name to In-the-cage.-

-LoveDoctor has joined the chatroom.-

LoveDoctor: Its your own fault, Emmett. I have to pay for the aquarium to be replaced now.

Alphadude: Hey Nessie, wanna repeat today's lunch hour? Oh shit, hey vamps.

B4E_AA4: WHAT HAPPENED TODAY AT LUNCH?!

GingerGirl: Chess. Very explosive game of...chess.

Alphadude: I can't even play-oh, yeah. Chess.

-EC4BS has joined the chatroom.-

Alphadude....Shit...........

EC4BS: FUCK THE BOUNDARY LINE I AM GOING TO SKIN YOUR FURRY ASS!!!!!!!!!!

-Alphadude has left the chatroom.-

GingerGirl: Awwwww Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!

EC4BS: AND YOU!!!!!!! YOU WILL NOT SEE YOUR SIXTH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

GingerGirl: Catch me first, asswipe.

LoveDoctor: Calm down Edward. We don't punish you for stealing the whipped cream when you and Bella are in THAT mood.

-MomsTheWord has entered the chatroom.-

MomstheWord: Ditto the fluffy handcuffs.

EC4BS: PARENTS!!! WILL YOU PLEASE BE MORE DISCREET!

MomsTheWord:.....No.

InTheCage: BAHAHAHAHA THERES SOMETHING I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MY DARLING BROTHER!! DOES NESSIE KNOW THIS??

MomsTheWord: No, don't think so.

InTheCage: Well, she does now. I just texted her.

EC4BS: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!

InTheCage: Nyahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh she's still online. Nessie did you get my text.

GingerGirl: Yes. Thank you, Emmett.

EC4BS: DON'T YOU DARE SAY A FUCKING WORD.

GingerGirl: Shut up, kinky.

-EC4BS has left the chatroom.-

GingerGirl: Yay! So, Emmett....oh SHIT HE'S COMING UP THE STAIRS.

-GingerGirl has left the chatroom.-

-Jasper_Says_Relax has entered the chatroom.-

Jasper_Says_Relax: Aww, I miss EVERYTHING.

InTheCage:Yup.

Jasper_Says_Relax: Is that Nessie's arm flying down the stairs? Oh no it's Edward's. That means.....EDWARD GOT BEAT UP BY HIS 5 YEAR OLD

DAUGHTER!!!!!


End file.
